The People We Become
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: Sometimes saving someone means allowing them to save themselves, and letting them go. Because you trust in the person you were trying to save. Possible triggers


**Quidditch League Season 5: Ballycastle Bats Keeper: Mean Girls [2475 words]**

* * *

Entering a new environment was always difficult, Viktor had known that much since his parent had moved away from his grandparents' home when he had been seven. Not being able to visit his grandparents whenever he felt like, other than through floo and his grandparents weren't fond of leaving their floo gate open anyway, was lonely.

Friends were difficult to come by, most of the other children preferred to join together to laugh at his strange gait. He had always been more comfortable in the air, but he couldn't tell the Muggle children that. Nor could he explain why the wind was always gentle around him, or why it rose up when he was angry. Viktor couldn't explain it to anyone, and that ensured his isolation; it created a barrier around him that allowed no one through.

The white fingers gripping the edges of his cloak, however, reminded him that he wasn't completely alone this time. Markus was also attending Durmstrang with him. The Ollivander Heir had become his neighbour a little over a year after moving, and they had stuck together ever since.

Viktor hadn't been able to tell the other boy just how grateful he was that he didn't have to start Durmstang alone, but he thought that Markus was just as grateful.

"It will be fine," Viktor whispered. Markus was starting to look more and more like a caged animal, and Viktor knew that they would be expecting an outburst of magic from the boy if he didn't calm down soon. Markus' accidental magic had been far more pronounced than Viktor's own: shattering windows, and random fires had followed Markus through his array of emotions, and Viktor was glad that Markus would finally learn to control his outbursts a little bit. Viktor had never been particularly good at covering up Markus's 'accidents'.

Markus' fingers relaxed minutely as he nodded.

Durmstrang looked more like how Viktor had imagine Nurmengard would look: tall walls and black windows. The building was menacing, and Viktor couldn't believe people _studied_ there peacefully without fearing for their lives. It wasn't surprising that Markus was terrified, Viktor was terrified too.

"Welcome to Durmstrang," the man Viktor assumed was the headmaster greeted. "You will spend your next seven years studying within these walls. We will teach you everything you will need to survive in your futures.

"Your fellow students will be both your closest family and your greatest enemy. You will learn to adapt, and survive. So, study to the best of your ability, or you won't survive the experience."

Viktor thought the man would be better off practicing a more welcoming speech. Markus looked increasingly pale at the man's words.

"He didn't really mean that, did he? Why did he make it sound like a threat?" Markus was starting to panic, and Viktor was tempted to hide. All the signs were there, and Viktor knew Markus was beyond the point of coaxing, but it would be far worse if Markus found himself alone in the Great Hall afterwards.

A large force slammed the doors behind them open again. Trails of fire raced their way towards them, and Viktor attempted to counter it by removing the air surrounding the fire but Markus' emotions were too strong this time. The rest of the first year screamed and scattered, as did the upper years seated at the tables closest to them.

"Markus, stop it!"

…oOo…

Both spent the night in the Hospital Ward for that—Viktor for the burns, and Markus for magical exhaustion.

"I'm really sorry, Viktor," Markus whispered every time he glanced at Viktor. The bandages wrapped around his previously burned extremities would stay until the newly grown skin had become less sensitive. It also meant that Viktor would miss the first two days of classes, while Markus would be released in time for them as long as he promised not to attempt any magic.

"Don't worry about it, Markus. I'll be fine in no time. Just be careful not to get too upset, okay?"

Viktor could see the vigorous flopping of Markus' hair in the semi-darkness. The sounds of sniffling reached him moments later, and Viktor sighed.

"Markus, weren't you the one that said that you wanted to try new things in Durmstrang? Why don't you go out and make a couple more friends for me to meet, okay? Then you'll have a couple of friends to stay with while I got out flying instead of having to sit out in the cold."

"Do you think I can? That would be nice, isn't it? Maybe I'll be able to make a few friends who would like to go flying with you too? Then neither of us would be alone."

Glad that he had finally managed to cheer the boy up, Viktor allowed himself to sleep. He didn't really need any friends other than Markus, and he enjoyed flying alone, but maybe those were things Viktor could learn to like with time.

…oOo…

The Healer, Healer Gregor, had finally allowed him out of the Hospital Ward, and Viktor was nervous about facing the rest of the Durmstrang population for the first time. Markus hadn't met him when he was released, but Viktor knew that Markus could be rather absent-minded when he wanted to be. Viktor wasn't even sure he had told Markus when exactly the Healer would be setting him free.

Based on the timetable Markus had given him yesterday, the first years should be free now. Using the time to explore, with the map the Healer had given him as he left, he wandered the passageways, becoming familiar with the paths he would take to his meals and the various classes he had.

His final stop was the dormitories. Healer Gregor had recommended that he not attend the rest of today's classes and join the classes on Monday, but History of Magic didn't sound like an overly strenuous lecture and that was the only class left for today. It was also the first class of that subject, so Viktor wouldn't need to catch up on it if he attended.

"Isn't that the guy who couldn't put out a fire? I wouldn't be surprised if he was a halfblood," greeted him as soon as he entered the room. That was certainly a level of hostility he hadn't been expecting.

Viktor couldn't identify the source of the voice, so ignored his words. If they wanted to get a rise out of him, they would be sorely disappointed. His eyes, instead, searched for Markus. Spotting him, Viktor waved and began making his way to the open seat behind him.

"Is he your friend?" It was the same voice, and this time he caused Viktor to pause. Markus' eyes apologised, even as he shook his head, answering negatively.

It hurt. Viktor turned around, and found a seat on the side of the class furthest from Markus. It looked like he would be alone in Durmstrang. Was it really that easy to give up a friendship with him?

Viktor convinced himself it didn't matter; it had been _Viktor_ who had told Markus to go out and find friends anyway. Viktor had been alone before, and learning to be alone again wouldn't be too difficult.

…oOo…

It wouldn't have been too difficult either, had it just been them ignoring him. Their jeers and taunts followed him through their classes, until he was forced to do all pair-work by himself and even the chair next to him wasn't occupied anymore.

Viktor discovered that the group Markus had joined were a trio, or quartet now, of popular Purebloods: three males, and Markus. Within the two days that Viktor had been out of the dorm, they had secured their place at the top of their year—not by marks, but through their magical ability—and Markus' show during the welcome had included him in their group.

The only thing that was difficult to understand was why Markus felt the need to behave as he did around them. Viktor wondered if Markus really needed their friendship enough to forsake his pre-existing one with Viktor. He doubted he would get an answer with how the quartet went almost everywhere together.

Intending to put the situation out of his mind, at least for a little while, Viktor grabbed his shrunken broomstick from his trunk and headed towards the Quidditch Pitch that lay behind the monstrous building that was Durmstrang.

The air higher up was even more bitterly cold than it was on the ground, but the sight of the grass disappearing into a mass of green as he shot up into the clouds made up for it. His strange walk had been replaced by his apparent magical ineptitude in this school. They hadn't considered that while he wasn't the first to get the spell right, _he_ wasn't the last one either.

His magic was average, as was his magical knowledge. There had been no reason to get tutors when he had been younger: that was what going to Durmstrang was supposed to be for.

Here, though, amongst the clouds and one thin, magical stick away from plummeting to the ground, this was where he was better than most. Viktor couldn't say he was the best, he doubted anyone could, but being able to swerve and dive freely was a feeling that felt like home.

There was someone waiting for him when he landed. Arms crossed, and a stern expression on the man's face convinced Viktor that he was going to be in trouble. He cursed himself: Viktor hadn't even thought to check if there were any rules about the use of the Quidditch Pitch. He wasn't at home, so it wouldn't surprise him if they did.

…oOo…

Free access to the pitch _and_ a place in the Quidditch team! A reserve place in the Quidditch team, but Viktor could barely believe his luck. Professor Lamp, the man that had been waiting for him on the Quidditch pitch, offered Viktor a smile at his expression of disbelief.

"Just remember, I will withdraw the privileges if your grades drop beyond failing. Your attempt at putting out the flames were a good effort, but not the most effective use of your abilities." Lamp noticed Viktor's surprise. "You didn't think none of the staff noticed, did you? We're trained for that kind of thing. Although, I'd admit to being disappointed in your friend for abandoning you so easily."

Viktor shrugged, not really wanting to think about Markus and his current involvement in mocking him.

"If you'd like, I can teach you more about your wind ability. I have a similar one myself," Lamp offered. "It'll certainly keep you out of the way of the quartet."

"I'm sure you have other more important things to do. I can't possibly—!" Viktor argued, a feeling of gratitude washing through him despite his words.

"I offered. I'm sure _I_ would know how much free time I have." Lamp gave Viktor a pointed look. "So, would you like to learn or not?"

Viktor smiled sheepishly. "If you really don't mind."

"Good. I'll see you in my office after dinner tomorrow."

…oOo…

Rumours followed him around the next day. Somehow, people had managed to her of his new position on the Quidditch team, while others seemed to be under the impression that he had a detention with Professor Lamp that night.

Viktor didn't know where they got their information from, but it was half right, and that was still fairly surprising.

For their part, Markus' quartet were silent on the matter. In fact, they were completely silent afterwards. He hadn't heard a single taunt the entire morning, and Viktor was relieved for it. He was trying to figure out what else he could have done to stop Markus' fire during the welcome. Reducing the fire's air supply had always worked before, but that was obviously not what Professor Lamp had been talking about.

It had been tempting to simply skip all his classes and research in the library, but he couldn't afford for his marks to drop—and Viktor knew that he had never been able to study on his own before. Viktor's own explanations for things rarely made sense, and were generally wrong anyway.

He rushed to the library during lunch, bumping into some random person and muttering a hasty apology along the way. Whatever they must have muttered about his lack of manners fell on deaf ears, since Viktor had long since stopped caring about what the students in his year said about him anyway.

"Viktor! I heard you got on the Quidditch team. That's great!" It was Markus. It was also the first time Markus had thought to talk to him in the months since he had left the Hospital Wing. Viktor almost wanted to ignore him.

"Great. Thanks. You can go back to your friends now, I'm sure they're waiting for you," Viktor replied distractedly picking up a book that looked somewhat related to his search. He wasn't bitter; whatever bitterness he had originally felt had faded along with the dregs of their friendship. They were only classmates now, and Viktor didn't think he would want to be any closer to the boy in the future.

"Don't be like that, Viktor. You know I'm sorry about all of the things we did to you. I didn't really mean any of it. They're not important." Markus had a pleading edge to his voice, one that Viktor would have been a victim to what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"If they weren't important, you wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have joined them, Markus." Viktor had finally turned to look at Markus, really look at him, and it was as if he was staring at a stranger. A stranger that had the same features as his childhood friend, but was a completely different person. "If you were sorry, you would have convinced them to stop, but you'd made your decision already.

"We've both changed. For the better, or for the worse, that's yet to be decided, but we can't ever go back to the friendship we once had. I will not become part of a group that goes around bullying people they believe to be weaker than them to feel better about myself. I'm better than that."

Viktor surveyed Markus' stiff posture and shook his head, slipping the book closed into his arms. He wasn't going to convince Markus to make a decision he didn't want to. It would have to be Markus' choice, and Viktor knew that Markus had always favoured the easier road.

Whatever happened now was Markus' choice. Viktor had other things to concentrate on—he couldn't _always_ be saving Markus from himself.

Viktor knew that, while it may be a long time coming, Markus would eventually make the right decision.


End file.
